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Instead of enjoying the time you have together, you may waste an entire night feeling withdrawn and upset with each other.
You’ve now effectively forced the distance you initially feared.
When it comes to all of the things we worry ourselves about in relationships, we are much more resilient than we think.
In truth, we can handle the hurts and rejections that we so fear. However, our critical inner voice tends to terrorize and catastrophize reality.
As we get into a relationship, it isn’t just the things that go on between us and our partner that make us anxious.; it’s the things we tell ourselves about what’s going on.
The “critical inner voice” is a term used to describe the mean coach we all have in our heads that criticizes us, feeds us bad advice and fuels our fear of intimacy.
To a certain degree, we all possess a fear of intimacy.
It’s that cynical roommate that always gives bad advice. Just put your guard up and never be vulnerable to anyone else.”The defenses we form and critical voices we hear are based on our own unique experiences and adaptations.
It can rouse serious spells of anxiety about dynamics that don’t exist and threats that aren’t even tangible.